Walking Around With A Broken Heart

I don’t know one person who could read that title and not relate. 

You read the term “Heartbreak” and your mind, I’m sure, goes to one of yours.

Everyone’s heart has been broken – death of a loved one, breakups that feel like a death of a loved one, divorce (also feels like a death), loss of a friendship (also feels like death), job loss, a betrayal and on and on and on.

Life is a series of heartbreaks.

(Womp. Womp. Life is also a series of wonderful things, too, but there is a point to this).

We “move on” but there is still scar tissue – my first heartbreak came when I was 7 years old, my first soulmate, my heart, Laura, found a new best friend. I am 42 and that still stings. It wasn’t until a couple of years ago when Laura passed away that her “new best friend” whom I thought had replaced me confided she was actually envious of my friendship with Laura. It was a significant moment for me in that I thought I was the one who got the short end of the stick, when in reality what my 7 year old brain couldn’t wrap its head around is Laura had enough love for both of us. 

Thirty five years later, that sentiment feels like a cooling balm over an open wound that’s been there for the majority of my life. 

I have discovered in the last few years, with every loss comes a lesson, if you allow yourself to be open to learning what the lesson is.

It’s been a journey of discovery since my divorce. Learning to not judge (or try not to), that there are three sides to every story – always. That vulnerbility leads to connection with others. Through my divorce and sharing my story with others, I learned everyone’s got stuff. 

Today marks 1 month since we had to put our Coco girl down. It was the first time I’ve been through the loss of a dog. While we had a wonderful 13 years with her, it would have never been long enough and we never would have been ready to say goodbye. The amount of empathy we received over her loss left a significant impact on me.

The dictionary defines empathy as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. 

To repeat, (because I read this statement multiple times to let it sink in): The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

If you follow me on Facebook, you know my dogs are my world. They are magic and seeing the outpouring of kindness after Coco passed, it became even more obvious to me that I am not the only one who feels that sentiment about dogs – or animals in general. 

I’ve given the magic of dogs (or animals in general) so much thought as to the why – and in simplest terms the only thing I can come up with is that they never have malicious intent and would never intentionally break our hearts – we can be vulnerable with them, be ourselves without judgment. 

How many people can you say that about?

But, the truth is when Coco passed away and I saw how much empathy there was for heartbreak in the purest form, it made me think how much hidden heartbreak was out there if people could so easily relate to mine. 

And as mentioned earlier, with every loss there is a lesson. 

With Coco’s passing it dawned on me, it’s not just that we all have “stuff”, but more significantly, every person you encounter on a daily basis is, in fact, walking around with a broken heart.