Far From Perfct.

I know many of you will find this hard to believe, but I’m not perfect.

Far from it, actually. In the years since my divorce coming back from a dark period – the darkest period in my life – has been a journey of self-improvement. Focusing on my actions, inactions and behavior – both short term and long term – and the repercussions they lead to (or don’t lead to). 

Previously (and still am some days despite all efforts) a self-proclaimed control freak, one of the many lessons I have learned (by falling on my face repeatedly), is the only thing I can control in my life is my response to events. 

That’s it. 

Sometimes my response in the moment after much reflection following my chosen response is not exactly what I would choose to do again if given the opportunity. 

Can you relate to this? How many times have you been caught in the heat of the moment and reacted unfavorably?

But, the benefit of making mistakes is using these moments as lessons to do better next time. This is what I strive for. Not perfection, but betterment. Perfection is unattainable, betterment – even by a hair – very much is.

I used to beat myself up over mistakes I made – some, I still do, but working on self forgiveness is another element of improvement I strive for every day. Some days are easier than others. 

Another question I have learned to ask myself frequently is “is this productive?”

Is dwelling on something that happened in the past – something you can’t change – no matter how hard you try –  productive?

Dwelling or ruminating? No.

Reflecting and using history to direct future behavior and ask, how I can be better?

Yes.

Every day, I ask myself that – so today, I ask you that, how can you be better today?