My Safe Place.

My longest relationship (outside of family) is going on 22 years. 

The one consistency in my life since I was 18 has been the gym and working out. I fell in love with lifting when I was introduced to the sport of crew in college. Part of being on the crew time was sessions in the gym and lifting weights. My career as a “collegiate athlete” only lasted a year. I loved my teammates, but being a stature 5’2″ without a tremendous amount of athletic talent didn’t lend to the desire to continue rowing.

What I did continue, however, was lifting. I was hooked, which is ironic, because what I love most about the gym and lifting is the solitude, the mental space and quiet it allows. 

For me, it’s meditative, spiritual –  It’s incredibly personal. It’s the most personal thing in my life and for 22 years, I’ve never let anyone in. It’s mine. I’ve always made it a priority in my life. Through job changes and schedules, I’ve had to be flexible, but I always made it a priority. I have to work until 7pm? No problem, I’ll change my workout to the morning.  Have to be at my desk at 7am? No problem, I’ll wake up at 4am to get it in. Have to travel? Hotels have gyms. No gym? Looks like I’ll be running outside. COVID? Free weights at home and road work. I just haven’t ever made excuses to not workout, because it has ALWAYS been an incredibly important part of my life.

I’ve done a lot of work on myself in the gym – and not just physically. The physical part, I would argue, is the most minor benefit that I’ve taken away from my years going to the gym and working out. Establishing mental toughness, focus, self respect, the self, the self, the self – myself –  is what I have taken away from the gym. 

The gym,is where I learned to like myself. Love myself. Fine tune myself, my mind, my heart, my soul. It’s where I hash out everything going on. The good stuff, the shitty stuff, the complicated stuff – it all gets worked out with the weights. If I go in scrambled, I always come out put back together, at least more so than when I went in.

I know a lot of people who see the gym as their church. It’s a spiritual place for a lot of people. I don’t ever push what I do on others, because like anything, I believe people need to figure out what works for them – that goes with anything – their job, their relationships, diet, religion, happiness and so on.

Even on my worst days, I go to the gym. It’s just me. No one else. Headphones in, music on. Don’t talk to me. Don’t look at me. I am a completely different person at the gym. I don’t talk about my workouts really, because it just is part of my day, like brushing my teeth. The gym is where I feel truly home. And most comfortable. 

For going on 22 years, It’s my safe place.