I Wish You Could See What I see

I’ve been picking up on a recurring theme among some of the most amazing people in my life. They don’t see what I see. In fact, I’m sure the majority of the amazing people in my life don’t see what I see.

This past week has been a wonderful week of reconnecting with friends after being in the trenches of training and coming out of Covid (finally). I do better with one on one conversations versus being in a group setting. I abhor small talk and it feels like a waste of time and nothing sucks the energy out of me more quickly than small talk. I find that’s what typically happens when in a group setting.

This past week, I met up with a friend every night. Intimate conversations transpired and energy was exchanged. I realize that sounds hokey, but after every get together this week, my energy stores were replenished and I was filled with such a warm feeling of positivity and love, both for these people and from these people. Could have also been the carbs.

Each friend I met with all had a commonality, which is that I find them all to be amazing human beings. A surprising finding through my conversations with these people was that unfortunately, they don’t see what I see. They find themselves to be ordinary or less than or need to work on so much (in their minds). It’s laughable, because to me, I find each of them to be incredible in their own right and fascinating and inspiring power houses who bring so much to the table they don’t even realize. 

On Monday, I had dinner with my friend – we’ll call her Julie. Julie has three high school aged kids, works full time, tutors, is an incredible classically trained musician and just happens to be one of the kindest, most selfless people I know. I met Julie only a little over a year ago and we quickly became good friends because she has this unique way about her that drew me in. I’m sure I’m not the only one. Like everyone, Julie has a lot going on in life – some good, some not so good, but one of my favorite things about Julie is she rolls with the punches. She has an undeniably inspiring outlook on life. She looks at the glass as half full. To her, every moment of every day she is given an opportunity to continue to fill it up, rather than look at the not so great stuff and ruminate on it knowing full well that outlook doesn’t help anything or anyone. She is and continues to be an inspiring reminder of that seemingly simple concept, yet so hard to master some days. Yet, she appears to do it effortlessly. In her mind, she’s ordinary. In my mind, I wish I could pick her up and put her in my pocket every day to keep her effervescent energy with me at all times.  

On Tuesday, I had dinner with my friend – we’ll call Tara. Tara is a top producer in her industry, shared with me her father committed suicide when she was younger and she essentially raised her siblings because she was the oldest and it just needed to be done. She doesn’t have an amazing relationship with her mom, but this person is one of the brightest and most impressive people who I am in absolute awe of. I felt that way even before I knew the level of adversity she faced in her life. I almost fell off my chair when she told me a little more about her younger years. She is incredibly humble and exudes this energy that emulates a breath of fresh air. I walked away from that dinner with a ruminating thought of exasperation once again in that she doesn’t know how incredible she is.

On Wednesday, I had dinner with my friend – we’ll call her Melanie. I’ve known Melanie for almost 20 years. We’ve gone in and out of touch since we first met. When we initially met we had an instant chemistry of non-stop laughter – my favorite kind and such a rarity given my brand of humor. We reconnected a couple of years ago when we were both going through some tough life circumstances. She’s considered high risk from a health perspective and COVID was particularly rough for her. She divulged that she hasn’t really done much since the onslaught of Covid and is just so disheartened with how much time she felt she wasted. Continuing our conversation she mentioned she quit smoking, joined a couple of spiritual groups, is considering going into the seminary, and has written enough to publish a book. She also works full time and has done some amazing paintings. I started laughing after she mentioned all of this. And again, I was in a bit of a shock that this incredible woman could not see what I saw. At one point, I actually did say to her, “Melanie, I wish you could see you the way I see you.”    

Thursday, I met up with Sheila. Sheila is indescribable, but I’ll try. I met Sheila at a networking event when I was roughly 25. Since the moment I met her, I have always seen Sheila as someone who is unapologetic in who she is and does what she wants despite what people may think. She is driven, authentic and genuine. Her authenticity and genuineness are what draws me to her the most. She’s real and if the last couple of years has taught me anything, it’s that I want (and need) real people in my life. Sheila and I have always gone away from each other and reconnected several times since we first met for no other reason than our lives naturally going that way. The universe has a funny way of bringing people you need back into your life when shit hits the fan. Sheila is one of them. Sheila is no stranger to adversity and she is easily one of the hardest working people I know. While Sheila owns who she is and is her own person, she is also someone who is generous with her time, energy and always helps those less fortunate. To a fault and to a point where whenever I’m out with her, people always know her by name and just naturally want to be near her. I’ve never seen anything like it.  She does this for no other reason than it’s who she is. There is never an ulterior motive.I can’t help but smile when I’m in her presence. She doesn’t see it either. She is who she is and I am absolutely enamored with her and consider myself lucky to be in her life.

Friday, I met up with my friend who we’ll call Colleen. Again, I’ve known Colleen since my mid twenties. She’s one of those people who pops into my life at the most random and most welcome times. Colleen also has an authentic way about her where her unique look is straight out of the 50s with retro black frame glasses, a pearl necklace and clothes that suit her spunky personality. She pulls it off effortlessly. Her smile and laugh is contagious. Her energy is like wrapping yourself in a warm blanket on a cool fall day and I always feel like I float away after we spend time together – even if it’s a passing in Target or a two hour dinner on a Friday night. Colleen is without a doubt a “creative” and runs artistic circles around me. She also is a crazy dog lady just like me and shows dogs at Westminster. She is so much more than meets the eye and she doesn’t see it either, but man I wish she could because she’d be in love.

Lastly, I spent time with a friend who we’ll call Liz over the weekend. Liz and I met through mutual friends. She was let go from her job almost 2 years ago which knocked her on her ass and inflamed her already dwindling self confidence (I know this feeling all too well). She approached me when she wanted to go into real estate. Like anyone that comes to me for advice when wanting to go into real estate, I pay the favor forward that was bestowed upon me when I was looking to take the real estate plunge and I shared with her the good, the bad, and the ugly. I didn’t blow smoke up her ass and I told her the first year is brutal. Fast forward to now, she’s crushing it and I couldn’t be more proud of her. Liz is naturally one of the most stunningly beautiful women I have met. To add to it, she is incredibly intelligent. And guess what? She doesn’t see it. This is a travesty, because when I do spend time with her I catch myself just staring at her. This past weekend, I said the same thing to her I’ve said to all these other amazing women. 

“I wish you could see what I see.”