After The Tan Fades

I’ve been basking in the glory of the show last weekend and the outpouring of support. What many people also don’t think about is the let down after the show. The return to normalcy where broccoli and chicken aren’t your life anymore and friends want to celebrate you by throwing anything and everything carbohydrate at you. Pizza, icecream, brownies, oh my.

The tan fades and so do the abs. The body I dawned during the show is temporary. It lasts for mere hours, not days. Water is chugged, pizza is devoured and weight comes back on. While training for my first competition, about a month out from the show, my coach took me aside and said

“This is about the time I have this conversation with my clients. You feel amazing about your body right? You’re going to be at this weight two weeks after the show and you’re going to feel disgusting.”

She did this to help me mentally prepare for the impending weight the body naturally puts back on after feeding it calories it needs. The show weight is not sustainable – nor healthy. 

The irony about training and manipulating your body to look that way is people think it must feel amazing. And it feels cool, but the reality is, I’m not out barhopping and at restaurants socializing rocking that bod. I am home with my dogs in pajamas too exhausted to do anything and always having to stay close to home because I had to eat every couple of hours. Oh the cruel irony!

After the show, there is also a void. My therapist actually mentioned it to me a couple days before the show, “Historically, you always have a letdown after the show. Do you have something else planned to focus on?” I had forgotten about that part.

Thankfully, I have a lot of moving pieces right now to focus on so the letdown isn’t as dramatic as it has been in the past, but it’s still there. Because of how I placed this past weekend, I have the opportunity to compete at World’s in Las Vegas in November. How fucking cool is that? It’s percolating and definitely a goal I’m thinking about pursuing.

But, I’ve also been enjoying having a life, spending time catching up with friends, eating carbs, having more energy – ya know… living. The scale creeping up would have bothered me in my mid-20s. I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t bother me at all, but these shows have taught me so much about the human body, what it’s capable of and how to be kinder to it – regardless of the number on the scale and clothes starting to fit a little differently.

So, the tan is fading, my body is returning to its normal state and I’m thinking about what comes next.