Sour Milk.

Those who know me best know by nature I’m a bit of a curmudgeon. A funny and loveable curmudgeon, but still a curmudgeon. Those who don’t know me that well or only from my writing I think see me as this beacon of light. I try hard to put positivity out there because internally my natural instinct is pessimism. A charming trait I inherited from my father. Starting a practice of continual self awareness a while ago, I have made (or have tried to make)  a concerted effort to shift into a more positive mindset. Some days are harder than others there is no doubt. 

Ironically, I have become incredibly sensitive to negativity. I don’t watch the news. I don’t follow people on social media that trigger my anger or annoyance, and I hang out with my dogs way more than I do with people. In general, they feel better to be around than most people, I have learned. They don’t judge, they love me unconditionally, and they think I’m awesome (I think). 

I have mentioned previously, a lot of things shifted during the time of my divorce. I have written about when I hit my rock bottom, there was a bit of a “Jesus, take the wheel” mentality.  Life at this time was incredibly complicated and emotional and there were days where I was hanging by a thread. I started the mental mantra of telling myself one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time – whatever it takes to get through the day. Mentally, I saw 1.1.1.1 – a reminder that there is only one way to eat an elephant and that’s one bite at a time.  

I am not a religious person, but I definitely went through a spiritual shift during this time. I started noticing what I put out, comes back – good and bad. I started doing experiments with it. 

My first a-ha moment of this concept was during this “spiritual shift”. I was out walking my dog and I had some negative thought come into my head and all of a sudden I slipped on ice, dropped the bag of dog poop I was carrying, stepped on it subsequently breaking the bag and shit went everywhere – including on my shoe and coat.

 I also noticed, the universe has a sense of humor.

A couple of days later I was unloading groceries from my car. A negative thought popped into my head and instantly one of the bags broke and my groceries spilled out on the ground. 

Begrudgingly, my pragmatic self silently said, “ok, I fucking get it, universe.”

So, I started to pay attention to where my thoughts went and how I felt. Who felt good to be around and who did not. What felt good to read or listen to and what did not. Boiling it down to simply following what and who felt good and avoid who and what did not was incredibly beneficial for my mental state. Similar to eating better makes you feel better physically.

I learned diet isn’t just about what you eat, but what you consume with your ears and eyes. 

Happy, positive, encouraging, supportive, uplifting, energizing people and friends – yes, please.

Angry, bitter, gossipy, negative, pessimistic, doubting people who drain the shit out of you – no, thank you. 

Sometimes, it really is that simple to say yes, please to the good and no, thank you to the bad. Not all the time, I understand, but A LOT of the time, it really is that easy.

I always laugh when someone says “Oh god, I think this milk is bad. Try it.”

“Why the fuck would I try something you just told me tastes terrible?”

Similarly, why would I watch, listen, be around something that feels terrible? 

So, I don’t. Just like I don’t keep drinking the sour milk. So why do you?