Three Coffee Cans

I grew up in a “working class” household. My dad worked for Home Depot as a Sales Associate and my Mom worked for the State in Health and Human Services. Both are very hard working people. 

I would describe my parents as a powerhouse in the way they run their household – like a business. A very disciplined business. I’m still in awe of the way they can rattle off the numbers of what their average monthly grocery bill is and so on. They are the first example I saw of goal setters. They are a sneaky powerhouse, though. Both incredibly humble in the way they live their lives yet silently check off their goals seemingly effortlessly.

Key word being “seemingly.”

Growing up, we didn’t always have the nicest of everything, but we had what made sense and what was appropriate for the budget. Store brand everything vs name brand, Pay Less vs the cool shoes, and so on. It used to drive me insane, because while all the cool kids were sporting their name brand clothes and sneakers, I would try and piece together a wardrobe that would be good enough to not get me made fun of. My parents didn’t spend mindlessly, but always mindfully. They have always appeared to be on the same page regarding spending as far as I can remember.

Whenever I asked my parents to buy me something, the question that always followed without fail was, “Do you want it or do you need it?” If I needed it and could make a rational case – i.e. sneakers falling apart – off to Pay Less we would go for another pair. I never had the coolest, most expensive anything, because in their minds, what was the point? I was going to outgrow a $100 pair of sneakers in a year so you might as well get the $25 pair each year for four more years. Even better if it was a Buy One Get One free sale.

If I wanted something, the deal was my parents agreed to pay for half. I had an allowance growing up, but it was always earned. My brother and I both had weekly chores. If we did our chores, we were paid our allowance. No chores done, no allowance given. If we didn’t have it, we didn’t spend it. My parents had zero issue saying no. Zero.

One activity my mother did with me and my brother as kids vividly stands out in my mind. My mom sat us both down and made us decorate three coffee cans each. One coffee can was designated for “saving”, one was for “spending”, and one was for “giving”. The idea was every time we received money, we had three options in how to divide it. She never pushed upon us how we should divide it, but the gist I got was we were “supposed” to divide it evenly between the three cans. 

I ended up always putting every single penny into the “save” can. I remember thinking to myself, “I’ll buy myself those damn shoes.” All my birthday and Christmas money, allowance, and so on went into that can. What ended up happening, though, as soon as I had enough money to “buy the cool shoes”, I didn’t want the cool shoes anymore. 

Something shifted. It took me a long time to save up that much and that much hard work didn’t seem to be worth a stupid pair of shoes. Especially when I could save for something even better. What it was that was “better”, I didn’t know, but I remember just having that little savings always provided a bit of comfort. Even at that young age. I still subscribe to that thought process.

To this day, I still have a hard time spending money on clothes and the majority of my wardrobe is from Target or hand me downs. My mother laughs when I brag about finding an article of clothing at Target for $19.99! (“Don’t say that!”) – almost like she doesn’t want me to share the recipe for the secret sauce. 

As I’ve grown up, the “spend” can is reserved for “splurges” or something I deem as something that will garner a return someday – a house, etc. I have released the reigns a bit because there are times where you have to live a little and buy something nice once in a while. And I do, without guilt. Once in a while.

 Occasional splurges aside, I’m as frugal as they come. I still buy store brand versus name brand. I make my own coffee every morning (Market Basket brand – “More For Your Dollar!”). The thought of buying a coffee from a Starbucks or Dunkin’s every morning pains me. (Also for safety reasons, I should not be allowed behind the wheel of a car without caffeine in my system).  

I don’t know why and I don’t know when the shift happened exactly, but contributing to the “Give Can” became incredibly important to me. I was inspired by another real estate agent who was making donations to a local charity for every home she sold. The idea heavily resonated with me. At the time, one of my good friends was training to run the Boston Marathon and raising money for Dana Farber. She was behind in her fundraising goal and knowing how important this cause was to her, I felt because I could, I wanted to help. Dana Farber was the first organization I contributed to and was the beginning of what later was established as my “Moving Communities” campaign. 

Since the inception of the campaign, because of the trust my clients have instilled in me with their real estate needs, this year will mark $50,000 donated back to our community, which is something I am so incredibly proud of. 

Tomorrow is “Giving Tuesday” and I will be pushing out my annual Moving Communities 4th quarter charitable giving contest. This is something I get so excited for every year knowing it brings recognition to deserving charitable organizations, potentially inspires others to give, helps build holiday spirit, and admittedly and frankly, selfishly, makes me feel like a contributing member of society as I sit here drinking my Market Basket coffee I made myself this morning.