When You Have The Shoulds.

Some days I’m a ridiculous powerhouse of productivity, getting houses under contract, slinging real estate, creating a blog of inspirational posts and rah rah rah you can do it.

Other days, I sit on my couch in my pajamas, don’t shower, binge Netflix and key lime pie for lunch and then maybe popcorn for dinner – this is not an exaggeration – I did this last week and I was totally horrified by myself.

I’m not going to lie, though – it was also pretty fantastic. However, I fight “the shoulds” hard on those days. You know…  “You should do this…” “You should do that… ” It’s taken a few years and a lot of therapy sessions to shush the should. 

Sshhhhhhhhh. The visual of my brain going “You shhh” and then I just raise a finger up to shush it.

2020 has left us with a lot of time to do some introspection – both a blessing and a curse. There are days where I get the “shoulds” and I’m paralyzed by the thought of all the things I “should” be doing. I should be folding that pile of laundry, vacuuming all the dust bunnies in my house, going to the gym, showering, prospecting, organizing my files, grocery shopping, writing that novel, baking bread, and a million other things I see people on social media doing.

But instead, I turn on Netflix and watch something that fries my brain cells. 

I shush the shoulds by crying to myself (while rocking back and forth in a corner), “BALANCE! I NEED BALANCE!”… or at least that’s the hope. I’ve struggled with balance like most people do, I’m sure. I love my job, but there are days where my personal life and self care get the shaft, because I’m too focused on work. I don’t realize the negative repercussions until I’m physically and emotionally exhausted and it dawns on me it’s been weeks since I had a day off. For folks who have kids, I imagine it’s even tougher.

I’ve learned to be a lot kinder to myself when I have the shoulds, I give myself permission to relax and not get the 2897428947298479847 things done that are nagging at the back of my brain. I’ve discovered if I stop putting so much pressure on myself, the anxiety tends to dissipate and I naturally gain steam again. 

I think the majority of us need to give ourselves a break, and give ourselves permission to leave the dust bunnies, leave the pile of laundry and curl up with that key lime pie every now and then. It does wonders for your shoulds.