What Are You Looking For?

You ever notice on days you’re in a bad mood, everything goes wrong? You spill your coffee, then you stub your toe, and step in dog poop on a way to a meeting you’re already running late for?

“Just great!”

That’s your fault.

I have found when I am in these moments of negative spiraling, I try (keyword, being “try”, because some days you just can’t get out of it) to stop, breathe and redirect my thoughts to something more pleasant – “what a beautiful day!” – I can hear some of you say as you read that, “Oh, screw you, Lexi” – because part of me just did a little bit. So, we’ll leave that one alone for now, but something to think about.

You are always going to find what you’re looking for. If you are looking for something to be angry about, you’ll find it. If you’re looking for something to be happy about, you’ll find it. Things to be grateful for? Everywhere. Humor? Everywhere.

“God, people suck.” – While this CAN be true, I also notice someone holding the door for someone else or a stranger smiling and saying good morning.
There are things everywhere to be angry about, but there are also things everywhere to be happy about. Lately, I’ve been finding inspiration everywhere.

Remote learning is the worst, I’ve heard. While I’m not a parent or teacher, I’m inspired by all of the parents and teachers working their butts off trying to make this whole remote learning thing work. I’m inspired by the kids enduring these unprecented times that they may not even grasp that they’re the guinea pigs of what may be a new norm moving forward.

Rather than be jealous of the woman running by my house at 5am with her dog gracefully galloping beside her (Petey would yank me everywhere and I’m pretty sure I would resemble a pregnant elephant if I even tried to attempt that feat), I’m inspired by her.

I’m inspired by the woman smaller than me squatting 45 lb plates at the gym. ” Damn girl… good for you.” I think to myself as I barely eek out my 35lb plates.

I’m inspired by people doing things differently despite others laughing at them and having the guts to just do it. I’m inspired by the people who are taking risks, pursuing goals and dreams, maybe having to take a step back before they can take two steps forward. Or those just killing it with whatever they’re doing and never looking back.

I am inspired by my friend who texted me saying she didn’t feel awesome about the way a conversation we had went. She confronted me rather than sitting and stewing about it, and me having no idea it bothered her. Instead, she brought it to my attention, I recognized I was a jerk and I apologized (because as previously mentioned, we all have the capability of being assholes sometimes and I am no exception). The me a few years ago would have had a knee jerk reaction and thought “Wtf I didn’t do anything wrong!” and would fire back making the situation significantly worse.

I’m not saying I don’t still have my moments. I do. I definitely do, but I’m working on pausing, reflecting and constantly asking myself “what are you looking for?”
So, what are YOU looking for?