Debbie Has Hemorrhoids.

Like most people, I have had moments of comparing myself to others. I’ve worked VERY hard on moving away from that, but every now and then it creeps in and I work on redirecting that energy to more positive outlets.

“Comparison is the thief of joy” are some of the truest words I’ve ever heard. Social media doesn’t help when all you see typically is the highlight reel of people’s lives. The vacations, the successes, the pieces of our lives we want others to see. When in reality, the mess, the failures, the struggles, the real stuff is still there, just hidden.

A text conversation from earlier this morning with a friend of mine:

Friend: Looks like you had a good year last yea
Me: Aside from a divorce and severe depression? Yeah.

A joke, but not far off from the truth.

“Oh fuck you, Debbie” has run through my mind scrolling past pictures on social media of smiling faces and tropical adventures. In reality, Debbie’s marriage is failing, she’s on medication for depression and has hemorrhoids. And you know what? That’s ok, too.

We’re all a million different people. And everyone has stuff – hemorrhoids and all.

We’re all assholes. We all have tendencies of being less than perfect. Cutting someone off in traffic, forgetting to say please or thank you, being in a bad mood, or any other iteration of inconsideration. Me. You. Everyone.

I also believe most people are good and we’re all trying to do the best we can with the circumstances we’re given. Are there some bad people out there? Sure. But for the most part, I would argue the majority of us cannot be placed in a “good” bucket or a “bad” bucket. Again, I believe all of us are a million different people on any given day.

I’ve had quite a bit of dialogue with friends who are open minded and can see this perspective. I have learned when something upsets me, to look inwardly and explore why. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, without fail it always comes back to something I don’t like about myself. Forgiveness is a very liberating feeling. Understanding that someone not liking you has nothing to do with you – understanding that it’s about them is even more liberating.

“What people think of you is none of your business.”

My favorite people are the people who cheer for others – and not just when they’re down. When they’re up, too. I had a conversation with a friend recently who told me about a coworker who she was good friends with until my friend got a promotion and then the cheering stopped. I think all of us have been in both of these positions. I’ve been the friend who has been promoted or have had some type of success and have had people not be happy for me. I’ve also been the person who was jealous of someone who had something good happen to them – not something I’m proud of, but something I acknowledge and work towards figuring out why.

Again, we all have the ability to be assholes. The key is to sit back and ask “why am I being an asshole?” “Why am I jealous?” “Why?”

In today’s world, more than ever, awareness and kindness are needed – awareness of ourselves and awareness that things aren’t always what they seem. Kindness, because you just never know whose dealing with hemorrhoids.