Battles.

I don’t know one person 2020 has been easy for. This isn’t necessarily a doom and gloom post, but more so a post to let you know if you feel like you’re battling you’re not alone. The recent news of a local gentleman who was a well-known fixture in my town – whom I did not know, but through the articles and posts I’ve read, he was obviously a loved and admired man whom so many were grateful for in the Portsmouth community.

We now know he battled and couldn’t see what so many others so clearly saw. I’m sure so many of us can relate to this. How many of us have inner struggles no one else knows about? I know I do.

Perhaps that’s just one of many reasons why suicide strikes us so much. It’s so final and leaves so many questions unanswered. And for many of us, leaves us asking ourselves a lot of questions. I’ve had recent conversations with friends of “Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to see ourselves as others see us?”

I can only speak for myself, but when I hear of someone committing suicide – regardless of whether I knew them or not – my heart aches because I think, how bad was it up there where they felt there was no better choice. I have struggled with depression and anxiety, which I think many will be surprised to hear because I always hear “I really appreciate your positivity and upbeat attitude.” I work hard to battle it and some days are better than others. One thing that has helped me is projecting that positivitiy and trying to lift others up when they’re down and being as good of a friend as I possibly can be. This gentleman’s story resonates with me. I am very vocal about seeing a therapist. I believe, regardless if you suffer from depression, anxiety or how about just life, everyone – and I mean EVERYONE – would benefit from talking to someone objective. There’s no shame in asking for help and life can be really fucking hard some days. If you find yourself struggling and need an open and non-jugmental ear, give me a shout. We all need help sometimes.